reckless...
so...our dude-that-talks for Resistance Thursday evenings challenged us this morning to take up the gospel. like SERIOUSLY. this guy - there's no lukewarm in his book... "JOIN US. THIS IS OUR WORLD. THIS IS OUR TIME." over and over again in my mind the words "will you commit? will you commit?" rang in my ears. wanting so badly to ignore the pressing heartbeat in my chest and the cry of my soul to get up and scream "I WILL. I WILL." I just sat there. numbed to move. too afraid to feel. no emotion, not here...not now please. ...i....can't. oh boy. why is it so hard for me to commit? maybe fear of failure knowing that i have been unfaithful in the past? maybe b/c of the hurt that i have felt before from people that said they would commit and didn't? maybe the challenge of giving my life away to something else other than my selfish desires? maybe just knowing that this may be the hardest yet best decision i will ever make after giving my life to Ch...