Inspired by Life

Growing up, I never really dreamed of having kids. That was my mom's dream, and she did it (...eleven times!). I had the joy of witnessing and being a part of seven younger siblings growing up. I remember always celebrating life and welcoming with open arms a new baby into the home. I really did enjoy cuddling the newborn, burping him/her after feeding, and being proud at times I was the sibling able to rock them to sleep. It was fun in the moment, but I was happily ready to hand him/her off when they started to cry. I did my fair share of babysitting through high school and some in college, but I never really got too attached and was usually kind of relieved when the parents came home so I could leave. I was much more interested in pursuing career, travel, and missions, and I thought marriage and babies would slow me down (obviously still had a lot to learn, but that's a story for another blog). All that being said, the fact that I am now (33 years old) a mom myself sharing my

"Have a baby," they said. "It will be fun," they said. "It's only 9 months..." LIES!  Ok, I may have an increased level of changing hormones raging through my system right now that is bringing out the drama, BUT in all seriousness, let's just talk for a second about the things women never talk about in the last trimester... When was someone going to tell me that my hands would go numb and be swollen and I would have no grip after I wake up in the morning? When was someone going to tell me that having a belly 3x my normal waist circumference was going to make it hard to sleep, exercise, move, breathe, to sit comfortably...actually, now that I think about it, just make everything hard! When was someone going to tell me that my feet would be swollen at the end of every day? ...that my eye sight would get worse...that my wedding ring would no longer fit...that my capacity for focus would diminish...that my whole world would change, including my house a

25 weeks in and I made the rooky mistake of watching a birthing clip. ...officially terrified now of a baby going through my pelvic floor (GASP!?! ...deep breath). My midwife encouraged me to take an online pregnancy/birthing course at about 32-35 weeks...I should have listened. I was not ready to see that, and now I'm attempting to block out all thoughts of a baby swimming in amniotic fluid inside me knowing that one day he's going to have to come out.  Trying to remind myself that God designed the woman's body to birth babies, and, trust me, He knew what he was doing when He created us women. The body is absolutely amazing because it's creator and designer is absolutely amazing. In a healthy body, everything works together in a beautiful harmony during the birthing process. I'm sure there will be some sensations I do not feel prepared for right now, but I know that God does not give His children things they cannot handle (aka: what He has not equipped them for).  

 Well, it's official. I can no longer button my normal pants. What a weird feeling. Stretchy pants here we come! Thankfully, to the generosity of some moms, I was given a number of maternity clothes that work for me. So I have transitioned to a closet of looser fit to accommodate the ever growing lower half of my torso.  It's a weird sensation to try bend over and have something in the way that limits my mobility...or to lie on my stomach (without even thinking) and feel uncomfortable as my insides try to squish into my ribs...or to catch a glimpse of my reflection and see a bump staring back at me. I've never really been skinny, but I've also never really be fat, so I probably make more comments & jokes about my appearance than I should. My poor husband graciously held me in his arms one day, and gently reminded me that this is just the beginning; I should get used to it. To which I quickly responded, "Well, I've never been pregnant before!"  I'm

Well, I'm "over the hump" as they say... It feels like eternity and the blink of an eye at the same time. The journey has shifted to a little smoother ground (I think). I'm still waiting for that "2nd wind" they talk about in the 2nd trimester (or is that just a myth?).  Workouts aren't quite as intense these days, and I stopped doing pull ups. ...okay, well, I could never do a pull up in the first place, but at least now I have an excuse to not attempt them. But I digress...I'm staying active and quickly learning that I feel 10x better when I workout daily. I've coached preggos for years to stay as active as possible up until they give birth. They think I'm joking, and I am most assuredly not. Mommas, if you and/or your baby have no underlying health conditions, a sedentary life is the WORST thing you can do to yourself. I know you constantly have to fight the urge to sit on the couch and veg out due to the zombie, bloated feeling you're

It's only gotten harder as time goes on...more nausea, more tired, more emotional (my poor, gracious husband). Thankfully I still haven't thrown up, but somedays I wish I just would if it would make me feel better.  Sleeping is hard, but it's all I want to do these days...every time I roll over, my breasts remind me that are very engorged, and my abs remind me that they're stretching and pulling to make way for a soon growing womb. I sleep with five pillows but can't really seem to get comfy (seriously, considering investing in a preggo body pillow, a matress topper, new sheets, a lighter comforter...maybe just a whole new bed haha!). Couch naps have become by best friend, and I've embraced them (for the first time in my life). "After all," as my app says, "[I'm] running a baby-making factory that's in business 24/7" and I'm the only employee, so I'm on the clock around the clock (WHEW!).  I have to force myself to eat (which

They say the 1st trimester is the worst, so I braced myself for the worst. At the beginning of this pregnancy I was feeling actually pretty fine. I was surprised at how I didn't even feel pregnant! Well, well, well, week 6 hit and everything changed... I am slowly learning how to cope and continue working multiple jobs while fighting extreme tiredness, muscling past the gag-reflux to weird food adversions/new acute smells, and getting winded easily (not to mention re-learning how to move with now added frontal weight to the top third of my body - Lord, have mercy!). We're waiting a couple months to let everyone know the news, but it's hard to be in this state and have to "act normal."

So far, so good. According to my app, Judah is now the size of an orange seed with the start of a spine they call the "tail." The only symptoms I've experienced is being extremely tired and mild cramp-like-sensations. For that I am thankful (thank you grama Walter for passing down your pioneer woman spirit). I got this! And thank you, Lord, for the grace to carry this little one on to full term. 

I woke up early this morning, planning to take a pregnancy test. 95% sure I was, and 95% TOTALLY ok if I was not. Of course my husband and I had talked about it and had planned on getting pregnant this month, but I guess there was a lingering spirit of contentment if God decided that now was not the time (wink, wink). Well, after peeing on a stick (for the first time in my life), I watched a little plus sign slowly form on a the reader. ENTER: all the emotions: excitement, shock, terror, joy, panic, peace, love, craze... Oh boy...here we go. My life will never be the same. How do I break the news to my husband? Do I wait to tell him? Do I tell him now? I stepped out of the bathroom and crawled back into bed. It felt like Christmas morning - you know that feeling where everyone else is still sleeping, but you find yourself wishing and waiting for them to wake up so you can unwrap the presents. Well lucky for me, Keno was already somewhat awake, so I nestled next to his body under the