Do not grow weary - STAND!
So...i'm scrubbing out the kitchen sink and Jack (my 10 yr old brother) and Janelle (my 8 yr old sister) come running in declaring "we're going to guard you!" Jack proceeds to send Janelle down the stairs to check on things while he positions himself at the kitchen entry. Well, uhm, great? now...i...feel...safe? After asking Jack what exactly he was "guarding me from," i found they didn't have anything else to do... Janelle reappeared from the basement proclaiming that no one was coming - i was safe. The kids laughed with excitement and ran out of the room hand-in-hand - mission accomplished and in search of new adventures.
Ok, that was random...but it reminded of something. Something that God had/has been calling me to for quite some time...prayer - intercession for the saints. Christmas break was different (i don't want to use "weird"). It was good, not bad, but different. i went to this conference in Nebraska that overwhelmed me with incredible truth from God's Word. i was challenged to move forward in kingdom advancement, yet lack of confidence in myself left me hesitant. Over the last few weeks prayer has been a struggle. Normally i love prayer. In fact, prayer has been HUGE in my life in the past, but for some reason the last few weeks i've struggled. Maybe the fact that i absolutely LOVE my position in life right now! i have an incredible relationship with my family (better than it has been in years). i'm starting my dream job next week and i'm about to start the thrill of my schooling this semester with Human Body! i'm totally broke (just paid tuition, haha) but i have complete confidence in the Lord to provide everything i need :) i feel so happy! i have a great church home that loves me and cares about one another...oh my goodness, i love God so much! and He has poured out blessings and blessings into my life. i received a prophetic word New Year's day "this is a year of milk and honey 4u" and i have been clinging to those words for the last 11 days...perhaps this is a year full of blessings from the Lord. i say all this not to boast in anything that i have, but to boast in the generosity of the Father - for His glory. Ok, but anyways...back to prayer. It may be easy to pray when you are in need - calling on the Lord out of desperation, asking Him to fill needs, crying out in pain, etc...but what about praying when life is so good? Thank you is all that comes out of my mouth these days. It is good to be thankful, but i am not content simply to be thankful. Something inside of me wants to be intimate in prayer again. Seeing the heart of God and being ripped internally to pieces over the lost and the things that break God's heart. i guess i have a fear of becoming like the Israelites that, when things starting going well on earth for them, they forsook their God that had blessed them b/c they thought they could do it on their own. So i have been praying, but my words are different than before. Maybe more humble, less words, and a more genuine heart? Definitely these things are from God as He has been working on me, molding me, breaking old habits and making me into a new person...it's weird seeing myself turning into someone i never was b/c Christ is now ruling everything in my life (for the record: would highly recommend it). So, prayer is a mystery and i am still learning.
So when the kiddos came in to "stand guard" for me, i was reminded of quite a few individuals specifically that i know i have been called to "stand guard for" through intercession, but the last few weeks i have not...i have failed in my task. It is easy for me to go to my knees when i see things in their life where satan is at work, but am i willing to continue to be on my knees when i know that they are walking beside the Lord and the devil is not a threat? am i willing to stand guard? or do i run off to the next "adventure?" am i faithful? or am i like the disciples that could not stay awake even one hour? We are called to be faithful! persistent! endure! not to loose heart! but to pray without ceasing! STAND! and continue to stand! by God's grace I WILL NOT GROW WEARY!
Ok, that was random...but it reminded of something. Something that God had/has been calling me to for quite some time...prayer - intercession for the saints. Christmas break was different (i don't want to use "weird"). It was good, not bad, but different. i went to this conference in Nebraska that overwhelmed me with incredible truth from God's Word. i was challenged to move forward in kingdom advancement, yet lack of confidence in myself left me hesitant. Over the last few weeks prayer has been a struggle. Normally i love prayer. In fact, prayer has been HUGE in my life in the past, but for some reason the last few weeks i've struggled. Maybe the fact that i absolutely LOVE my position in life right now! i have an incredible relationship with my family (better than it has been in years). i'm starting my dream job next week and i'm about to start the thrill of my schooling this semester with Human Body! i'm totally broke (just paid tuition, haha) but i have complete confidence in the Lord to provide everything i need :) i feel so happy! i have a great church home that loves me and cares about one another...oh my goodness, i love God so much! and He has poured out blessings and blessings into my life. i received a prophetic word New Year's day "this is a year of milk and honey 4u" and i have been clinging to those words for the last 11 days...perhaps this is a year full of blessings from the Lord. i say all this not to boast in anything that i have, but to boast in the generosity of the Father - for His glory. Ok, but anyways...back to prayer. It may be easy to pray when you are in need - calling on the Lord out of desperation, asking Him to fill needs, crying out in pain, etc...but what about praying when life is so good? Thank you is all that comes out of my mouth these days. It is good to be thankful, but i am not content simply to be thankful. Something inside of me wants to be intimate in prayer again. Seeing the heart of God and being ripped internally to pieces over the lost and the things that break God's heart. i guess i have a fear of becoming like the Israelites that, when things starting going well on earth for them, they forsook their God that had blessed them b/c they thought they could do it on their own. So i have been praying, but my words are different than before. Maybe more humble, less words, and a more genuine heart? Definitely these things are from God as He has been working on me, molding me, breaking old habits and making me into a new person...it's weird seeing myself turning into someone i never was b/c Christ is now ruling everything in my life (for the record: would highly recommend it). So, prayer is a mystery and i am still learning.
So when the kiddos came in to "stand guard" for me, i was reminded of quite a few individuals specifically that i know i have been called to "stand guard for" through intercession, but the last few weeks i have not...i have failed in my task. It is easy for me to go to my knees when i see things in their life where satan is at work, but am i willing to continue to be on my knees when i know that they are walking beside the Lord and the devil is not a threat? am i willing to stand guard? or do i run off to the next "adventure?" am i faithful? or am i like the disciples that could not stay awake even one hour? We are called to be faithful! persistent! endure! not to loose heart! but to pray without ceasing! STAND! and continue to stand! by God's grace I WILL NOT GROW WEARY!
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