Unbridled and unchecked
I told myself: "I wasn't going to do it." I refused to be that girl...you know, the girl that wastes her life spending hours on the couch glued to her computer screen. There's so much more I could accomplish! could do! could be productive in! why would I waste my life away watching people moving and doing things when I could be the person moving and doing things? And do I really have to sit still thaaat loooong?
Now, maybe part of it is just my personality, but for a good majority of my life, I have steered clear from the media vortex wanting to suck me into a life-wasting obsession. Yes, yes, yes...I was one of those: when my friends were watching the latest TV show or cheering on their favorite sports team, I was learning how to cook, sew, be self-sufficient, be a good employee, earn money, manage finances, build a career, etc. Now don't get me wrong, I've watched my fair share of "Dick Van Dike," "Dancing with the Stars," and "Chopped" (among others). But let's be honest - my lack of TV/movie knowledge has left me brutally behind in conversations among my peers and a pathetic companion to have on your team for movie trivia - facts of my life I am perfectly OK with now.
I know with the invention of video sights that allow you to soak up all 10 seasons of your favorite show, commercial free - TV enthusiasts around the world rejoiced! I guess I have know one-too-many friends that got, you could say, really "involved" in a TV show. Every spare moment, they were glued to their computer screen, voluntarily steeped in Hollywood's subliminal-messaged, commercial-free entertainment.
But anyways...let me share a very recent personal experience regarding TV. It started out innocently enough; I was bored and feeling lazy one night and, of course, wanted to watch a movie. Pretty normal, right? So my friend was kind enough to let me use her video sight for the night to pick out a movie to watch. Well, I stumbled across a certain TV show that I had enjoyed in the past. But this time I could watch EVERY episode, starting from the very beginning! How cool! (I'd never seen the beginning of the show). They were only 20 minutes, so why not? I'd watch a couple about the length of a movie and go to bed (famous last words).
As you guessed, you can't just watch one.., I watched one after another after another, attempting to reassure my conscious that this was a one-time-thing. After all, it's not like I do this "all the time..." Don't I have the right to enjoy the "American" lifestyle every now and then? Come on, I'm always doing...maybe it's my turn to just chill (so I thought). So I "chilled" the next night (granted, only after I had completed everything I had planned to do that night and preparations for tomorrow's lesson plans were completed). And my next free night after that I "chilled," and the night after that... I loved this relaxing "American" lifestyle. It made my flesh happy. I didn't have to work in the evenings. It gave me a chance to turn my brain off. It gave me time for "myself" (whatever that is?) which I convinced myself I NEEDED. After all...of all people, "I deserved it," right?
Oh, how the unbridled mind so quickly warps our perspective!
I am embarrassed to admit, it took me seven whole seasons of my TV show before I woke up and realize how much it was effecting my life and my relationships. The evenings I would have spent building friendships with my roommates, were filled with me slinking away to my bed to "chill" and enjoy my show. My mornings or afternoons off from work were filled with creative ways to multi-task while enjoying my show. My free moments, that I might have prayed, read, or cleaned the house, were spent caught up in this alternate reality. My cardio workouts in the gym became longer as now I had a pleasant distraction that kept me moving longer. My nights became a little longer, my mornings a little more groggy, my jokes became a little more crude, my comebacks a little more witty, my thought pattern a little more self-centered, my compassion for others a little smaller, my interest in participating in church activities a little less...I didn't even realize it at the time, but lies started creeping into multiply areas of my life and I was starting to believe them!
I wasn't so far gone that I was just going to die if I didn't see the next episode, but I knew I was verging on addiction. I needed a change - A BIG change. I knew if I traveled down this path any longer, it would ruin me - ruin my beliefs, my lifestyle, my discipline, and very possibly my future.
So moving forward, I actively choose to have my actions in check. Now, don't get me wrong - I have no problem with entertainment, in moderation. I will continue to engage in an occasional movie night. I will continue to enjoy the creativity of men and women as they capture moments of an alternate reality behind a movie screen, and trust me - you better believe every 2 years my buns will be glues to a seat in front of a TV screen almost every night for about a month as I soak up the Olympics in all their glory. But I REFUSE to waste my life just feeding the flesh.
My deepest regret in life is the time I have wasted just feeding my flesh.
At a winter conference this past year I was challenged to live life "under the authority of God's Word." I am still learning what that looks like and how to do it, but it is something that I will continue to actively pursue. In 2 Corinthians 10, Paul exhorts to the church to "not walk according to the flesh" and to "bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." And in Philippians 4, Paul encourages us to think on things that are "true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, and praiseworthy." I know that filling my mind with some TV show that endorses objectifying men & women and glorifies sex outside of marriage is NOT living a life "under the authority of God's Word."
If I need an "escape" from this world or some "me time", it should be first and foremost running into the throne room of my heavenly Father. There is no rest or peace in front of a TV/computer screen. There is only peace when my mind is stayed on Christ [Is26:3]. And if I'm tired of this world - GOOD! Have I forgotten that this is not my home? Have a forgotten that I am part of a royal priesthood, a holy nation, set apart for God? Have I forgotten that I am just a sojourner, a pilgrim in this land [1 Peter 2]? I should not be discouraged then, because I desire a better country, that is a heavenly country - the city that God has prepared for His people [Heb11:16]! And I have been commissioned to be part of the good works that God has prepared for me [Eph2:10]! I am a co-heir of Christ [Rom8:15-17], so BY JOVE I'm going to walk like it [Eph4:1]!
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